Guys. I have discovered the GREATEST game ever!

I have found the best card/board/tabletop game in this universe.

That’s a pretty bold thing for a dude to declare. I know. But it’s true. Consider–is this game:

Better than Monopoly? Of course, Monopoly is an awful game.

Better than Scrabble? Yes, Scrabble is too intense and there never seem to be enough “U” tiles when I’m holding the Q.

Better than Diplomacy? Name one full game of Diplomacy you ever played that lasted less than 4 days.

Better than Stratego? I always get way too nervous when I play that game.

Better than Acquire?  Yes, though Acquire is a fun game, it’s slightly complex rules are a detractor from the enjoyment of the game.

Better than Settlers of Catan??????????? Yes. And Settlers is an awesome game. I have nothing bad to say about Settlers, except that it’s not as good as:

BOHNANZA.

That is the name of the game. BOHNANZA. It’s a German-style card game for 3-7 players. The only things you need to play are the special deck of cards and at least 3 people (there is a two person version but I haven’t played it, and supposedly it’s slightly mediocre).

The basic premise of the game is as follows:

Imagine you’re a bean farmer (“bohn” means “bean” in German). You live in a bean farming town with a bunch of other bean farmers (aka the other people playing the game). On your farm, you have three bean fields in which you can plant beans.

You can only plant one kind of bean in each field. For example, you can plant Coffee Beans in a field, but once you’ve planted the Coffee Beans in that field, you can’t plant Red Beans in that same field. You’d have to use one of your other fields for Red Beans.

Once you’ve accumulated a number of beans in a given field, you can “harvest” the beans. If you have a certain quantity of the beans when you “harvest” them, you can earn GOLD for them. The quantity of beans needed and gold earned depends on (a) the quantity of beans you harvested and (b) the rarity of the bean. For example, you’d need to harvest FOUR Coffee Beans (the most common bean in the game) to earn a single gold piece, but if you harvest TWO Cocoa Beans (the rarest bean in the game) you earn TWO gold pieces. You can harvest at any time, even if it’s not your turn.

There are a few twists, though: you are REQUIRED to plant one bean from your hand of bean cards at the beginning of your turn. Even if you have beans in all your fields!  (If this is the case, you had better do some harvesting…)  Also, your hand of bean cards must stay in the order in which the cards were dealt–no moving your cards around to plant the bean you want! Lastly, each turn involves a “trading” period in which players can offer you cards from their hand for some cards you just drew from the deck. So, there’s a significant strategy component as you manipulate the cards in your hand and the the beans in your fields, as well as trade with your opponents for desirable cards.

These are not the complete rules–there are some more intriguing details that I didn’t mention. But suffice it to say, this game is stunning in its simplicity, durability, entertainment value and elegance. Here’s why:

• Unlike games like Monopoly, everyone is still “in the game” until the end.  Resources accumulate over time, rather than having a “zero-sum” resource situation like Monopoly (which basically just transfers money from one player to another).  This is a major element of German-style games, and Bohnanza implements this perfectly.
• The game is simple to learn.  If you’re a new player, and are having the game explained to you by an experienced player, you could probably internalize all of the rules in 15 minutes, and have a good grasp of the strategy after just one game.
• The social interactions in this game are perfectly designed.  The trading between players is a constant back-and-forth, with players shifting between states of advantage and vulnerability at all times.  The restrictions the game places on planting, harvesting and playing cards out of your hand ensure no one player has a chance to dominate the others in a trading situation.
• The game rewards fair play and making good trades with your opponents.  Not only is the game much more fun when trades occur frequently, you usually are able to earn more gold if you trade more, even if your opponent gets a slightly better deal in the short-term.
• Gameplay is relatively short.  Usually, one game can be played in about an hour, including setup (which is minimal).  Even Settlers can take longer than this at times.
• No two games are ever the same.  The early game is always different due to the completely random initial draw.
• The game can be played with a flexible number of people.  4 is generally considered slightly optimal, but 3-7 can play comfortably, and even more can probably be accommodated.
• Bohnanza is relatively cheap. to buy  It costs between $15 and $20, which is expensive for what basically amounts to a deck of cards, but compared to other games (like Settlers) it’s a bargain.

If you haven’t played this game, I strongly suggest you go give it a try.  If you like games such as Settlers and Acquire I know you’ll love Bohnanza.  Thanks to Lana’s physics friend Justin for introducing me to this game.  I’ll be teaching it to everyone I can during the holidays.

Lots of little micro-updates.

Instead of making a thousand Twitter posts, I’m going to consolidate it all here.

• I made my Dad a training plan for the 5k we’re going to run together on Thanksgiving morning.  That’s gonna be a blast!  My training is off to a great start–if I keep it up and stay focused I should be able to run 20:XX, which would reinforce the notion in my head that I’m currently better equipped for short course racing than long course.
• I found a sweet deal on the running shoe I like today.  So I bought 3 pairs.  With my pathetic excuse for running volume that should last me like 8 years.
• I am switching my work schedule from (currently) 8-5 to (starting Monday) 10-7.  This will allow me to get my workouts done in the morning, which is way better considering the available daylight and the effect of training on my metabolism throughout the course of the day.  I’m super excited about this.
• I think it would be fun to be a guide for a blind athlete doing a cycling race or triathlon.  I mean, I already have the tandem bike and if they’re my height or shorter it would be easy to fit them.  But I’m not sure how to go about doing that.  Maybe there are organizations that specialize in organizing this kind of thing?  I suppose I could just post on Craigslist “Looking for blind man to take for a ride,” or something to that effect.
• I bought a really awesome headlight for my bikes.  Primarily the tandem, but it’s usable on all the bikes.  It’s the Cygolite MiliOn, rated at 150 lumens, and for its size it’s more powerful than a car headlight!  Lana and I took it for our first spin tonight and it was almost blindingly bright.  Very safe, and entirely worth the expense.  I feel a lot better about doing winter cycling with that light in my arsenal.
• I am going to a Halloween party on Saturday night, thrown by one of Lana’s physics friends, but I’m not sure what my costume should be.  I was considering going as Rick Astley since I know all of his music and dance moves, but I don’t have the outfit.   Any suggestions?  I would prefer something culturally relevant, contemporarily appropriate and cheap.  NC-17 is OK because I’m super good looking.  Oh and I can’t be Michael Jackson–that costume is already taken.
• New job is going really well.  I’m enjoying the work I do, and I haven’t accidentally deleted any databases yet.  I like having my OWN OFFICE, and everyone in the small company seems really nice!  There are two Publix’s within a mile radius from the office, and two more within another three miles.

Great Floridian Aquabike race report, and my (temporary) retirement from long-course racing.

I decided on pretty much a whim to sign up for the Great Floridian Aquabike race, which is the swim and bike legs of the Great Floridian full-distance triathlon (2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike).  I figured that I might as well put the fitness I built up from doing Ironman to good use!

I knew I was not in top shape, with only 6 weeks passed since Ironman, and my training in that time having been sporadic at best.  Also, I didn’t swim more than about 4,000 yards in that 6 week period–ouch!  But I figured I’d give it a try anyway.  I mean, there’s not even any running–how hard could it be?

So I drove down to Clermont and gave it a shot.  I didn’t pre-ride the bike course, figuring that even though Clermont has a reputation for being “hilly,” I figured, it’s Florida–how hilly can it be??

On Saturday morning, the full-distance racers (about 400?) started at 7:30, and then the relay and aquabikers started 10 minutes later.  There were only about 20 of us in the second wave, so there was basically zero contact during the swim.  I came out of the water in 1:20, which was 2 minutes slower than my swim at Ironman.  I attributed this to (a) my lack of swim training in the time between the two races and the fact that there was no one to draft off.

Onto the bike.  It started pretty much ho-hum.  I settled into a smooth rhythm, maybe a high Z1/low Z2 pace.  My spedometer ceased to function after about mile 15, so I was riding only with a cadence sensor.  I was rolling a high cadence (95+), which I have found works well for me at least on shorter rides.

There were some rollers, but nothing major.  At mile 28 or so, we tackled “Sugarloaf Mountain,” the highest point in peninsular Florida at 312 feet above sea level.  We climbed about 250 of those feet at about 15-18%.  A moderate challenge, but not too bad–my 34/23 low gearing was sufficient for a standing ascent of the “mountain” at about 45-55 rpm.

I split the first 59 miles in a comfortable 3:20.  In this first half, I had some minor issues (stomach cramps, bladder cramps and mild reaction to the sand in the air) but not anything OMG-worthy.  At the special needs station, I grabbed my second bottle of nutrition, poured 3 bottles of water on myself (it was getting hot) and got going.

I decided that, since I’m not running after the bike, it was time to push the pace a bit.  The next 20 miles were relatively flat, and I was passing folks left and right due to my good aero position.  I actually felt really strong at this point!

Unfortunately, in the span of about 15 minutes around mile 80, everything went completely to shit:

1. I ran out of nutrition.  The 1600 calories I’d put in my two bottles was not enough, considering the temperature and the effort level I was putting out.
2. I ran out of salt.  The two bottles had about 2.2 grams of salt.  I thought that would be sufficient, but it was not.
3. The temperature continued to rise.  Temps were now in the high 80s with the heat index in the mid 90s.
4. My new aero position, which is lower and more aggressive than the aero position I used at Ironman, became unsustainable due to pains in my neck, shoulders and back.
5. I developed a cramp in my left foot which prevented me from applying any real pressure to the left pedal.

This “perfect storm” of awfulness sent me from(on flat ground) a comfortable 22mph to about 14mph.  I was bonking, I couldn’t pedal properly, I couldn’t hold my aero position, I had a headache from hyponatremia (lack of salt), and I was getting heatstroke (I was no longer sweating, I was getting goosebumps and my skin was turning beet red).

I immediately went into “survival” mode.  I limped along for a while, and then the storm got worse–the last 20 miles were all hills!  No exaggeration, it was one 100 foot roller after another.  Those last 20 miles took literally almost 2 hours, it was awful.  (Oddly, I didn’t get passed more than a handful of times–everyone else must have been having problems due to the heat/terrain like me.)

After a depressing, agnonizing, humiliating 6:29 on the bike (4 minutes slower than Ironman) and a total time just under 8 hours, I rolled into the transition area.  I sat in the lake for a few minutes, and then ate 3 cookies, a hamburger, a hot dog, 2 pieces of pizza and 2 bottles of Gatorade.  I guess I was hungry!

Because of my disappointing performance here and at Ironman Wisconsin, I think I’m going to set aside long course racing for a while until I figure some things out about my racing self.  Primarily, I need to figure out how to take in enough calories and salt to sustain a 6+ hour effort.  I also need to develop my body’s tolerance to a continuous, steady-state effort for a long period of time.

I think that, over time, I’ll be better prepared for the rigors of long course racing.  I’ll develop a better nutrition plan for these long races.  I’ll also strengthen my body to the point where these long efforts don’t create physical problems, such as muscle cramps.

However, for now, I think that the most productive (and enjoyable) way for me to approach triathlon is to get better at short course racing.  That’s sprint distance, Olympic distance, and maybe the occasional Half Ironman.

Doing short course racing should be nice because (a) I get to go FAST on the bike, which is awesome, (b) I have a pretty high tolerance for “good pain” (aka lactic acid buildup) and (c) I don’t have to do a huge ridiculous taper for each race.  I could race every weekend if I wanted to!  Additionally, short course racing doesn’t have the financial commitment that comes with the longer races, which are often expensive, elaborate ordeals.

Anyway, I’m going to do a sprint race in a few weekends with one of the athletes I coach.  After that, I’ll do a turkey trot 5k and then it will be time for the off-season, which in Florida is still quite nice training weather

Great Floridian Iron-distance Aquabike – Pre-race Report.

Let me just say this for the record. I still cannot get over the fact that I am going to be marrying the hottest, smartest, most awesomest woman ever.  I seriously did not think that when I was the fat kid in high school I’d be this lucky.

So this Saturday I’m doing the Great Floridian triathlon down in Clermont.  It’s a full distance (Ironman distance) race, but since I did Ironman Wisconsin 6 weeks ago, I signed up for just the “Aquabike,” which is the swim and bike legs of an Ironman triathlon.  2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike, that’s it.  The absence of a run makes this race SIGNIFICANTLY less stressful than a full blown Ironman, and possibly even less stressful than a half Ironman (though the Aquabike will take longer than a HIM).  Basically, running sucks.

My training since Ironman Wisconsin has been haphazard at best, and nonexistent at worst.  I’m just gonna go out and do the race to see what my body is currently capable of right now.  I’m also going to play around with some pacing, cadence and nutrition things and see how those work.

My plan is to go easy on the swim, and basically treat the race as an 112 mile bike time trial.  I’ve tweaked my aero position since Ironman Wisconsin–getting lower in front and pulling the hands up slightly–so I should be gaining a few minutes of free speed from that, provided I can hold the position for 5+ hours.  Additionally, I’m going to roll with a significantly higher cadence than at Wisconsin (my MOO cadence was in the 80-85 range, I’m going to do the GFT at 93+rpm).  I think the higher cadence will be easier on my knees and large leg muscles, which gave me trouble during the Ironman run.

All in all, this should be a good time.  The absence of a running leg is a real stress-reliever, as I’m not really in a running “groove” these days.  Cycling is fun, but swimming and running seem more like chores (“dangit, I have to go for a swim”) than rewards (“now that I’m off work, I get to go for a bike ride!  Yaay!”)

Oh yeah–there are only a handful of people signed up for this race, so I have a legitimate chance at winning my age group!!!!  (Last time I checked, I was the only one signed up in my age group!!!!)

Southern Tandem Rally – October 9-11, 2009 report.

Photos: http://picasaweb.google.com/martinmccrory/SouthernTandemRally2009?feat=directlink

Lana and I took our tandem bicycle down to The Villages, Florida this weekend to attend a rally for tandem bicycle riders.  Having only been riding TWOgether for about 9 months and about 1,000 total miles, this was our first rally AND our first big group ride on the tandem AND our first major cycling event attending on the tandem!  It was a blast.

We both skipped out of work/school early on Friday, slapped the tandem on our car rack (the tandem is only slightly wider than our car with the wheels still on the bike) and headed down from Gainesville to The Villages, an “interesting” retirement community in central Florida.  We arrived shortly before 6pm and, after registering, decided that we had enough time to sneak in a short ride.  We rode about 15 easy miles around the streets of The Villages and returned in time to grab some ice cream.

On Saturday, when we arrived at the arrival/departure location, we noticed that we seemed a bit younger than most of the pairs there.  That didn’t seem to matter much, though, as veryone we talked with was very nice and welcoming!

And BOY were there some sweet bikes, as well!  Carbon fiber, titanium, couplers, Dura-Ace, sick wheels, belt drives, recumbents, triplets, folding bikes–it was all on display.  Never before had we seen such “tandem bling” all in one place before!

The Saturday ride was fun, if a bit chatoic.  The organizers decided to throw some little rollers into the route, which served to break up any large packs of riders.  After the rest stop at 17 miles, we decided to take the shorter (38) mile route back home.  Unfortunately, no one else decided to follow us, so we rode to lunch by ourselves!

At lunch, we got lots of compliments on our matching “USA Cycling” jerseys, and a lot of positive comments about the fact that it’s great we’re getting into tandem cycling at such a young age.  Tandem riders really are the nicest cyclists around!

That night, the organizers hosted a happy hour and dinner for the riders.  The happy hour was scheduled to start at 6, with the dinner scheduled to start at 6:30.  Lana and I didn’t want to drink, so we decided to show up just for the dinner.  However, we forgot that the “target demographic” of this event (aka “distinguished” people) are much more punctual than us.  Not only had EVERYONE else arrived by the time we entered the banquet hall at 6:37, they were halfway through the salad course!  Lesson learned: arrive at all future tandem rally events 10 minutes early.

At the dinner, we met more riders and confirmed that we were, in fact, the youngest couple there BY FAR.  We had hoped to win a door prize for this accomplishment, but sadly they skipped us and went straight to the “oldest couple” prize (the couple that won has a combined age of 155 years!!  Wow!!)

On Sunday, we took advantage of the flat start to get organized in a nice fast group at the front.  Us and 3-4 other tandem teams spent the whole 41 miles doing a fun, hard rotation.  It was really fun to work together with other strong tandem teams to put out some amazing speed.  (A brief moment of embarrassment occurred when Lana and I dropped our timing chain while taking a hard pull around a corner, but we got it back on without too much delay!)  I’m pretty sure our group was the first one to finish, which was a nice “feather in the cap” kind of feeling.

All in all, our first tandem rally was a very positive experience.  We got to meet lots of tandem couples from around Florida and other places in the South, see a bunch of VERY COOL looking bikes and get in some great tandem riding!  We’re looking forward to attending more tandem rallies in the future!

Photos: http://picasaweb.google.com/martinmccrory/SouthernTandemRally2009?feat=directlink

September 2009 – best month ever!

September 2009 has been simply unreal.  Here’s what happened in my life during the month of September, in chronological order:

1. I completed my first Ironman (September 13)
2. I went to California, learned about triathlon coaching, and met legendary triathlete Chris McCormack (September 18-20)
3. I earned and started my first full-time salaried job (September 22)
4. Lana and I got engaged (September 24)

.

“I completed my first Ironman (September 13)” – See my previous blog post on the subject.

“I went to California, learned about triathlon coaching, and met legendary triathlete Chris McCormack (September 18-20)” – this was a fun trip.  Just a few days after finishing Ironman, I got on a plane and went to Santa Monica, California to attend a USA Triathlon coaching clinic.  It was my first time to Californa outside of an airport–very cool place.

I spent three days in seminars learning from some of the best USA Triathlon coaches, including Bobby McGee, Bob Seebohar, Ian Murray, John Crawley and Hector Torres.  I learned more than I could possibly ever process in the amount of time in which I learned it, and all of the information was interesting and practical.

On top of the great experience at the clinic, it just so happened that legendary triathlete Chris McCormack was in town for the weekend.  He stopped by a Santa Monica bike shop (which happened to be two blocks from my hotel) and did a Q&A and an autograph session!  I got to shake his hand, chat with him and have him sign my Ironman finisher’s t-shirt!  What a stroke of good luck that he was there at the same time I was!

“I earned and started my first full-time salaried job (September 22)” – The Tuesday after completing Ironman, I was woken up by a phone call from a company at which I had interviewed about two weeks prior offering me a full-time job with a great salary and great benefits as well!  Of course I accepted.

The company is a small (15 employees in 3 offices around the country) company that provides exam services for occupational assessment, primarily in the construction industry.  For example, if you are a plumber and you need to get certified to do business in the state of Colorado, you call up the company that provides the lisencing in CO, which contracts the company for which I work to design, administer and grade the exam.

My job is to do IT work–tech support, database management, programming, server maintenance, etc.  There’s a lot to do, as most of the company’s systems are completely automated, so I’m looking forward to contributing.  Since it’s such a small company, I’m sure I’ll be able to make a relatively immediate impact on things.

(Note: everyone has read about the person who blogs too much about their job and then get fired because of it.  So, you probably won’t see me write much more about my job on this blog in the future.  However, if you want to chat about it offline, on messanger or on the phone, that’s fine!)

“Lana and I got engaged (September 24)” - Lana and I have been dating for over 6 years (since January 11, 2003), so it was about time.

Actually, I had picked out the ring I wanted to get for Lana over two years ago.  However, I knew that at the time I didn’t really have the money to pay for it.  So I sat on it for a while.  I decided that I would wait until I had a bit more financial stability to pull the trigger.

Then, earlier this month, I got the call offering me a full-time job.  I immediately realized that I now had the financial stability I needed to pull this off.  So, little more than an hour after accepting the job offer, I went online and ordered the ring!  (Yes, I ordered online.  Cheaper and no huge diamond store markup.  Deal with it!)

The ring arrived on the afternoon of the 24th.  I popped the question in the evening, after giving her some matching bicycle jerseys (to use when we ride the tandem bike) as a decoy.  No special circumstances, I just asked her to marry me.  She said yes thankfully!

Afterward, we went on a tandem bike ride together.  We wore the jerseys and she spent the whole time admiring her ring!  I had to do most of the pedaling.

(Note: Despite the simple arrangements, I had actually thought about how to propose to Lana extensively.  After deliberating many different ways to propose, some more dramatic than others, I settled on just keeping it simple.  I think Lana appreciated not having an overly elaborate proposal.  Plus, I think I caught her a little by surprise!)

So, life is pretty good right now.  Here’s to the good times that surely will continue for us for a long time!

Ironman Wisconsin 2009.

I could write a book about this experience. I will try to keep it short enough so that people outside of my immediate family may still be interested in reading this.

Core stats:

Swim (2.4 miles): 1:18:01 (2:03/100m)
T1: 8:20
Bike: (112 miles): 6:25:44 (17.42mph)
T2: 4:10
Run (26.2 miles): 5:25:09 (12:24/mile)

Total: 13:21:20

Thursday:

Travel day. I did a short workout in the morning, and got on the plane to Chicago in the afternoon. I was not charged for my bike case, which saved me $175! (Nice!)

The flight was uneventful, and my mom picked me up at O’Hare and took me home to Aurora, where I spent the night.

Friday:

Mom and I drove up to Madison. I registered, picked up my transition bags, went on a small adventure to pick up some equipment that I couldn’t bring with me on the plane (had to go to a bike shop in town), got some lunch and checked in to the hotel. We stayed at the Grandstay Residential Suites, an extended stay hotel. Our room had two double beds, a pull-out couch and a full kitchen (which was great for preparing pre-race meals)!

At the hotel, I assembled my bike (which was undamaged in flight), put together the bags containing all of the stuff I’ll need in the two transition areas (swim-to-bike and bike-to-run), took a nap and sat in the pool’s hot tub for a while.

Later that evening, I went to the athlete meeting back at the race site. All of the athletes looked fit, ready and anxious.

I also met up with my friend Jeff, who was also doing his first Ironman! We traded stories about how awesome we are and how we were just ready to get going.

Saturday:

I got up early, and Dad (who had arrived late last night with my younger brother Sterling) and I went to the race site to get in one last workout. I did a short swim on the race course, followed by a short bike and run. About 60 total minutes of working out.

I dropped off my transition bags and headed back to the hotel. Mom and Dad picked Lana up from the Madison airport, and then we all headed out to see my Mom’s cousin who lives in a Madison suburb.

After having a nice early dinner with her family, we returned to the hotel for a quiet evening. I managed to get a decent amount of sleep considering it was the night before the big race. Taking some Benadryl helped immensely.

Sunday (race day):

I was up just after 4am. I finished putting together my “special needs” bags, which are bags of clothes/nutrition/spare equipment/etc that are available halfway through each of the bike and run courses. Dad was up early as well and took me to the race site. We arrived shortly after 5am and got a nice parking spot.

I dropped off my special needs bags, pumped my tires, did a bunch of last minute preparations, used the bathroom several times and put on my wetsuit. I was ready.

I met up with my Dad, who had gotten a nice spot to watch the swim start right on one of the helixes at the Terrace, and then made my way toward the swim start.

There were so many people! It was organized chaos. 2300 athletes, with 3-4 spectators per athlete, made for difficulty moving around the Terrace to get to the swim start. However, I managed to get in the water with about 10 minutes to spare.

The pros went off at 6:50am, as I was getting into position. I treaded water for a while and tried to relax. I found a nice spot toward the front, but well off to the side, for the swim start.

As I waited, I got a bit emotional about what I was going to do today, but then the clock showed 6:59 and it was time to focus. The clock turned over to 7am and we were off!

Swim (2.4 miles): 1:18:01 (2:03/100m)

With 2300 athletes starting the race, there was absolutely no clear water for the first 30 minutes of the two-loop swim.  Fortunately, there was no excessive contact at any point duringthe swim.  I think everyone in the water knew that we were in this race for the long haul, and it wasn’t worth it to try and get worked up on the swim.

I managed to get into a decent rhythm starting toward the end of the first loop. I was breathing away from the sun and generally doing well.  I concentrated on putting out a really low effort level and simply cruising through the swim. When I got out of the water in 1:18, a slow but acceptable time, I knew I had done just that.

T1: 8:20

Upon exiting the water, I got my wetsuit “stripped” off by a kind volunteer and ran up a parking garage helix to reach the top of the Terrace.

I ran inside one of the convention rooms, grabbed my transition bag, put on my helmet and sunglasses, grabbed my shoes and headed out. I stopped to get some sunscreen and use the toilet, and then ran to my bike, where a volunteer held it while I put my bike shoes on.

All in all, it was a long transition, but smooth and with no problems.

Bike: (112 miles): 6:25:44 (17.42mph)

Getting on the bike, I felt AWESOME. I felt strong, rested and relaxed. The first few miles were a clusterf**k so I just pedaled along and let the big testosterone men pass me. I took it super easy heading out to Verona, and got started with my nutrition.

Once I hit the start of the 40 mile loop (16 miles into the bike), things settled down a bit and I had a chance to hunker down into my aero position. I felt good. I kept my cadence and effort very low. I was averaging about 18mph at this pace, on target for a bike of just over 6 hours. I was getting passed a lot, mostly on the climbs, but used my good aero position to make up a bit of ground on the flats and downhills.

The first little testers were the hills on the top of the loop–Old Sauk, Timber Lane and Midtown Road. I started to feel it just a bit after taking these hills, but I was still feeling great.

I completed the first 56 miles in about 3:07, a conservative pace for me. I grabbed my second bottle of nutrition from my special needs bag (along with a Snickers bar) and settled in again.

By the time I hit the hills again, I was starting to tire. My nutrition was still going well, but my legs were starting to feel the fatigue of the long day. My speed dropped a bit as the wind picked up, and my second 56 miles were slower than the first by about 10 minutes.

I pulled into T2 ready to be done biking, but still with plenty of energy left for the marathon. 6:25 total time on the bike–slower than I had hoped for, but still not bad. I was confident that I’d do well on the run.

T2: 4:10

In the second transition, I put bodyglide on my feet, switched into running socks/shoes, grabbed my hat and was gone. I briefly considered staying inside the beautiful air-conditioned transition room for a while, but I decided to press on of course.

Run (26.2 miles): 5:25:09 (12:24/mile)

As I headed out onto the run course, I felt great. My legs felt strong, and I was keeping up a high cadence. My first 3 miles were all right around 10:00/mile pace. I continued to munch on stuff at every aid station, and was generally able to set aside the feelings of fatigue running through my body.

The weather was slightly warm, but the humidity was low so it was manageable. I stuffed ice in my hat at every aid station, and dumped water on myself at every opportunity.

The course was great. Very entertaining, with spectators all over the course. There were a few hills, but nothing too challenging. I enjoyed getting lapped by the pro women early in my run (they were already on their second lap). We even did a lap around the University of Wisconsin football field!

At mile 5, I started to slow a bit. I took a short bathroom break and decided to start walking the aid stations. No problem, I expected that this would happen. My mile pace started to dip into the 11:00/mile range, but I was still running at a decent pace. I hit the turnaround at mile 6.5 and continued to cruise.

Then, it happened. At mile 11, I stopped to try and stretch my legs a bit. As I stretched, my entire leg cramped up. It was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced while in an athletic event. If I wasn’t holding onto a dumpster I would have fallen over.

With the help of a kind volunteer, I took a moment to regain my composure and control over my body. I was able to continue, but physically and mentally I was not the same. My legs had simply lost the strength to continue the running motion. I was still cramping (but not as badly as before) and I also began to fight some side stitches.

My pace dropped significantly, and I began increasing the length of my aid station walks. By mile 14 I was walking some of the distance between aid stations. By mile 16 I was walking more than I was running.

I switched to coke, pretzels and chicken broth at the aid stations, in an effort to get more salt into my system. It helped a bit. I still couldn’t run at anything more than a “death shuffle” pace, and I was walking 2 minutes for every 1 minute of running.

Miles 18-23 were the low point in the race for me, never getting faster than 15:00/mile. During this low point, I never questioned why I was doing this or if I would finish the race or anything like that. However, I was very frustrated–I really wanted to run (and felt good aerobically), but my legs wouldn’t let me.

Once I got back on the roads toward the finish, I started to regain a bit more energy. My pace quickened slightly and I regained the motivation to run. The last 1.2 miles were the fastest of the race for me as I crossed the finish line in 13:21:21, “running” a 5:25 marathon.

After the race, I got my finisher shirt and medal, and evacuated the race site as quickly as I could. My nutrition had gone well, so I didn’t need any medical attention, but I was anxious to get back to the hotel. After a shower and some brief bouts of nausea, I was out like a rock.

Reflections

• I can see the allure of these huge events. You’re never alone out on course. There’s always a spectator, volunteer or other racer to push you along.  And the volunteer support was amazing!  There was never any question about where I should go, what I had to do, or anything like that.  Simply awesome.  Thanks, volunteers.
• I fell well short of my time goal. Looking back, though, it seems that my time goal of 11:30 was unrealistic, as that would have put me in 15th place in my age group which is ridiculous. I did finish, though, and except for the run, I was able to follow my pacing and nutrition plan reasonably well.
• I am absolutely doing another Ironman in the future. I’m hooked. This was an incredible experience in every way. However, I have a lot to work on. In particular, I need to do more long (100+ mile) rides and dramatically increase my running volume. I simply didn’t have the strength to run the full 26 miles, so that’s what I need to work toward.  I plan on purchasing a powermeter, so I can pace the bike leg with zero guesswork and arrive at the run start in optimal condition.
• Lastly, to everyone who came to the race or offered their support, kind words or congratulations to me during this whole experience, thank you. I was thinking of all of you at some point during the race. You are awesome.

I am thankful.

Ironman Wisconsin starts at 7am tomorrow.

2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike, 26.2 mile run.

As I sit here, all I can think about (aside from oversleeping the start, crashing on the bike, and bonking on the run) is how thankful I am to even be at this point, and how, regardless of how the race goes tomorrow, I’ll be happy.

Here’s what I’m thankful for:

• I’m thankful I”ll be sharing the race with my family.  I couldn’t ask for a better support crew.  Though I’ll get myself across the finish line under my own power, no one is really racing Ironman alone.
• I’m thankful that I am even physically able to take the start line.  It’s so easy to get injured or let life get in the way.  Outside of a scare 6 weeks ago when I faceplanted on the bike, training has gone flawlessly.  I’ll take the line in the best physical condition possible, given my experience and training.
• I’m thankful my equipment works, and that there were no major problems this week.  I was able to progress through race week stress-free.  Even the airplane flight was entirely uneventful!
• I’m thankful that the weather looks good.  Maybe a touch hot, but having spent the last 6 weeks in Florida that’s fine with me.
• I’m thankful for caffeine.
• I’m thankful for my wetsuit.  It will get me through the swim tomorrow, haha.
• I’m thankful for the hot tub here at the pool.  That has been nice to enjoy the last two days.
• I’m thankful that the folks running Ironman have got their act together.  Though the entry fee to this race is steep, in my mind it has already paid for itself with a smooth pre-race experience.
• Lastly, I’m thankful for everyone else who has helped me get to this point.  I’ve learned a lot and had fun over the past several years, thanks to you.  Each of you will be in my thoughts at some point as I progress through this race.

Before the race, I’m going to give my cell phone to Lana.  She’s going to be posting twitter/facebook updates throughout the course of the race.  So, keep your eyes open and I’ll see you at the finish line!  (Call me to wish me luck!  My number is posted on Facebook.)

Leaving for Madison tomorrow.

Tomorrow I leave for Madison to attempt my first Ironman triathlon. I’m feeling great. I’m in great shape. My build, peak and taper has gone according to plan. Everything is packed and ready to go.

At this point, all that remains is stuff that is pretty much not under my control–air travel, weather, race day incidents, etc. I’ve thought all of these things through and I’m ready to handle any unexpected situations. I’m bringing plenty of clothing options for the unpredictable Madison weather, and I’m arriving at the race site early enough to take care of any miscellaneous issues that may arise.

I’m nervous, excited, anxious, apprehensive, confident and a dozen or so other emotions–all at once. I’m even looking forward to the pain of the last 8 miles of the race. It’s a great feeling.

The only thing I’m *not* looking forward to about Ironman is the post-race depression. What will I do once this race is over?

But that is a thought for another time. In the mean time, it’s back to counting the hours until the gun goes off. 81.5 hours and counting.

Dear Marty’s Body,

You can’t do a 2 hour tandem ride followed by a 2 hour hard tri bike ride on a bowl of cereal and a PBJ sandwich.  It doesn’t work.  Especially when the heat index is above 90 by 9am and you’re losing 900mg of salt per hour in sweat.

If you try this, you *will* bonk and waste your workout.

Of course, I probably should have told you this BEFORE you went and did that this morning.  So my bad on that one.  But nevertheless, you should have known better.

Sincerely,
Marty’s Brain.

P.S. Aside from bonking today, I had a good workout week.  About 14 hours, mostly on the bike with some running and swimming sprinkled in.  The taper is progressing well.

My first night driving a pedicab.

Highlights of the evening:

• Toppling the rickshaw AND doing a “clipless topple” (falling over at 0mph still clipped into the pedals) within 5 minutes of starting my rickshaw training.
• Bring told to “mush” on my very first ride, which was FREE for this lady because we were still doing training.  That’s a nice way to treat someone giving you a FREE ride.  (She also kept yelling about how she was “on a boat,” which was untrue–she was on a rickshaw.)
• Giving a 400 pound guy + two of his friends a ride to their car. Fortunately, Gainesville is flat.  I would not have made it up any sort of incline with that particular set of passengers.
• Two drunk and entirely non-fat ladies asking if they were too fat to ride in the rickshaw.  Perhaps I should have said yes just to get a rise out of them. They did complement me on my calves though.
• One hideously ugly old lady asking if she could pay me in blowjobs. I insisted that no, you cannot and that the ride was free anyway since I was still in training. She said I had a nice ass and gave me a tip in pocket change.
• Losing 5 pounds of body weight in sweat. It was 80 degrees and humid all night and I didn’t drink enough water.
• Finally getting one paying customer at the end of the night, and then promptly flatting one of the rickshaw tires half a mile from his frat house. I had to ride with the flat to his house and then back to the garage where the rickshaws are kept, which of course was 5 miles away.  Uphill.

Other thoughts:

• The hours are not ideal.  The best money is made from 1-2am, when drunk folks are heading home from the bars.
• Asking literally everyone if they want a ride is exhausting.  Most everyone says no, even after several pushy follow-ups from me.  I feel a bit slimy doing it.
• “No thanks, I literally don’t have any money” is a lie.  You’re at a bar.   Your daddy just gave you a credit card a week ago when he dropped you off at college.  The ATM is over there.
• I get free food at the Pita Pit while I’m working.  Nice!
• The rickshaw is relatively easy to pilot, though it looks a lot harder than it actually is.  This is good for tips.
• When I get my own bike that is actually comfortable for me, I think things will go a bit more smoothly.  The bike I rode last night was too big for me, and the wheels/tires were less than optimal.
• All in all, this seems like a pretty cool job.  I get to ride and get paid for it, and the money is good (though last night was slow due to it being Wednesday).  Football games will be lucrative, and the rickshaw company also does out-of-town events that have a good draw.

Some thoughts now that I’m settling in Gainesville.

It’s been two full days since Lana and I moved into our apartment in Gainesville.  We’ve actually been in Gainesville for four days, but due to complications with the landlord and previous tenant, we had to kill time while the previous tenant vacated and the landlord cleaned up his mess.  Fortunately, we’re now moved in and mostly unpacked.

Our apartment is pretty nice.  It’s in a neighborhood full of other similar apartment complexes.  It’s a 2 bdrm/2 bath first floor unit, very spacious, slightly old and has ceramic tile flooring everywhere except the bedrooms which are carpeted.  The carpeting in the bedroom sucks, we’re going to try and get the landlord to replace them (ideally with more tile).

Our AC works well.  Our apartment doesn’t retain the cool air as well as our old apartment.  This may be due to its large size and the slightly crappy windows in here.

We bought a second bed for the second bedroom.  That way, you (yes, you) can come visit and you’ll have a place to sleep!

We have to drive over 9 speed bumps to get to our apartment.  That’s a giant sack of crap.  So we park in a lot that is slightly farther away from our apartment, walk the remaining distance, and only drive over two speed bumps.  (WTF you ask?  The apartment complex is laid out in a J shape, and our apartment is at the –>J end.  We park in the middle (J<–) and cut across on foot).

Our apartment turns out to be strategically located.  Most importantly, it’s close to the Physics building (an easy bike ride of 1.8 miles for Lana).  It also happens that it’s super easy (and safe) to get out of town on a bike from our apartment!  The former was a major factor in choosing this place, the latter was a nice surprise.

It’s hot here.  Temps in the upper 90s, high humidity, heat indexes well over 110.  We’re already getting into the habit of doing our outside stuff before 10am.

It rains a lot here.  It’s rained every day we’ve been here so far, but rarely for longer than 30 minutes at a time.  It’s really off-and-on.  Weird.

Gainesville is a huge, sprawling town.  Driving across town takes forever, both in terms of time and miles.  I didn’t realize Gainesville was so big!

Buildings in Gainesville generally look ghetto, but that’s probably because (a) it rains a lot here and (b) buildings don’t need to be as weather-proof as they do in, say, suburban Chicago.

Streets in Gainesville are really nicely laid out.  Gainesville is split into four quadrants (NW, SW, SE, NE).  With a few exceptions for major roads, streets are numbered outward from the “origin,” with E-W streets having the suffix of either Avenue, Place, Road or Lane (just remember APRiL) and N-S streets using all other suffixes (Street, Blvd, etc).  The origin is Main Street (N-S) and University Avenue (E-W).

So, for example, I don’t need a map to tell you where “802 NW 13th St” is–I just travel to 13 blocks west (to get me to NW 13th st) of Main Street and 8 blocks north (to get me to the 800 block of NW 13th st) of University Ave!  I visited 8 different places this afternoon in my car, and navigated successfully to all of them without a map or GPS.  Why can’t other cities do this???

Cycling in Gainesville seems to be generally good!  The major roads in town have intelligently-designed bike paths.  The roads out of town are safe and well-paved, with minimal traffic on the county roads.  The only negatives seem to be the heat and the lack of hills.  I rode 56 miles this morning and averaged a full 3mph faster than I would have over the same distance of typical Bloomington terrain!  I was ready to quit at the end, though–it was just too hot.  I imagine that during the wintertime Gainesville will be a great place to ride.

My apartment complex has a pool that I could, in theory, swim laps in.  It’s about 25 yards long, with no lane lines but very little use.  I will see if this works, as this could be a nice way to save on a gym membership!

Pointy Helmet stuff is going well.  I’m going to concentrate on getting the stuff ready for the free triathlon clinics I’m doing starting in September.  I’m also going to flyer the campus very soon, and network with people on group rides and Masters swims.  Hopefully I can spread the word about my coaching service!

I’m also applying for some part-time jobs just to have some additional income though.  Gotta hedge my bets on this one.

Leaving town in a few hours.

Our move officially commences in a few short hours.  Lana and I packed 95% of our stuff yesterday, and did about 90% of the cleaning, so we’re pretty much ready to go.

Our plan is to drive halfway to Gainesville (Chattanooga, TN) and stay the night in a hotel.  The 15 hour drive is barely enough to do in one day, but with Majel and the big moving truck we want to stay safe and take everything a bit slowly.  So, we’re going to spend the night in a hotel in Chattanooga.

I’m gonna miss Bloomington.  I’ve met some really awesome people here, and done some really neat things.  If nothing else, I’ll miss the beautiful rolling countryside for cycling, as central Florida is just flat, flat, flat.

In other news, my head feels a bit better.  The swelling has gone down.  The pain in my head has shifted from headache to neck pain, so at least the pain is evolving.  I’m taking less Vicodin, and more Tylenol, so that’s a good sign.

Nailed my 100 mile ride today.

Today, I did a long ride on my tri bike. I went to Martinsville (25.5 miles) via old 37–>Anderson–>Low Gap–>Mahalasville and back, and then repeated the loop again for a total of 102 miles. The first 16 miles are rolling, and the last 9 are flat. I’ve done this loop many times before, as it’s generally on nice roads with low traffic, but this is the first time I’ve doubled it up.

I started at 6am to avoid the heat of the day. I figured the ride would take me 6 hours. I used my tri bike, but no other aero crap. I also wanted to test out my Ironman nutrition and pacing strategies, as this ride is a very good approximation of the Ironman course.

From the beginning, I felt really strong and was able to put some good power to the pedals. I ended up doing both loops in 5:42–with a negative split between the two loops (2:52/2:50).

I did pretty well on my nutrition. Probably about 1500 calories total, a couple of PowerGels and the rest from my Infinit custom mix, which tastes like Gatorade + the ocean. Had a bunch of caffeine, as well, which helped me to focus and keep a steady tempo throughout the ride.

I was very pleased that most of my non-hill riding was at 20+mph, almost entirely in the big chainring. I ended up averaging almost 18mph for the ride. Cadence was lower than normal (85-90rpm, but this just felt natural, perhaps due to the long distance and high humidity. Normally I TT at 100+rpms, so 85rpm today felt downright lazy.

Anyway, blah blah blah I kicked ass today. I even banged out a 30 minute transition run afterward! Looking forward to (hopefully) breaking 6 hours on the Ironman Wisconsin bike course in September

Quick update.

Not a lot new going on these days. Lana and I are still working at the tutoring center, helping folks out with their Algebra questions. The big news at work is that I found a shower in the Ivy Tech building, so now when I bike to work I don’t smell like ass for the first three hours of my shift. And when that’s the big news at your job, you know your job is pretty sweet.

Training is progressing nicely. I have a bunch of tiny little injuries right now, mostly related to my left knee, but I am able to keep things under control. Muncie Half Ironman is in two weekends, that should be good. If the stars align properly, I just might go under 5 hours, but that’s really a long shot. I’d have to hit 22mph on the bike and then run sub 1:50 on a hot course with no shade cover. We’ll see.

I’ve done a bunch of time trials, one of the flat 40k variety and three of the sorta-kinda-tricky-hilly 10 mile variety. I love doing time trials, because I get to wear my sperm helmet and I don’t have to that crappy swimming or running. The TT courses are such that I end up going about the same speed on each of them (23.6mph) which is silly. I think I can improve upon my 1:03 for 40k, and I’ll have a chance next weekend, but my 25:30 for 10 miles that I got a few weeks ago was a pretty hard ride that will be tough to beat.

Lana and I are putting a bunch of miles on our tandem. It’s going really well, but we’re still trying to resolve some equipment issues. Lana’s having discomfort issues with her saddle, and buying a suspension seatpost didn’t seem to help. I think she needs a new saddle, but we’ll see what she decides to do! Regardless, we keep getting stronger and more confident as a team, and we never get tired of people giving us “the look” as we ride TWOgether!

Gonna ride 100 miles bright and early tomorrow morning, before the heat of the day. It will be a very boring century–2 loops of a boring ride to/from Martinsville–but it will be good training for Ironman, where I’ll need to be patient and keep my focus for the whole six-hour bike ride.

Celebrity Apprentice Season Finale (SPOILERS).

Tonight was the season finale of Celebrity Apprentice. The remaining two contestants: Annie Duke and Joan Rivers.

This post is full of spoilers. I know that, at the time of this writing, Lana hasn’t seen the episode. So, Lana, or anyone else who hasn’t seen this episode, don’t read the rest of this post.

In case your RSS reader or whatever displays the entirety of my post in your browsing window, here are some carriage returns for you (will be deleted in a few days, apologies for the annoyance).
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Okay.

Now.

At the beginning of the season, I called it to Lana. I said, “Lana, Annie Duke is going to win the Celebrity Apprentice. She is a phenomenal game player and she doesn’t let anything bother her.”

I was partially right. She is a phenomenal game player.

There was a telling scene in the middle of tonight’s episode. Tom Green and Annie Duke were in a van and Annie was venting to Tom about how awful Joan is. Tom seemed disinterested in the conversation, and kept saying, over and over again, “Joan got under your skin, Annie.”

Tom was right. Annie Duke’s downfall was how Joan was able to rattle Annie’s cage enough to throw Annie off of her game plan down the stretch.

Up until tonight, Annie had been the better player so far in the game. She had raised more money. She had a better record as Project Manager. She had done a pretty good job of letting Joan destroy herself with her “Annie is worse than Hitler” comments.

However, Annie’s true personality came through tonight. She lost the moral high ground big time with some of the out-of-boardroom things she said about Joan. She demonstrated her ego, her self-absorbedness and her disregard for the feelings of those in her employ.

Though Annie Duke raised more money than Joan Rivers, AND played the game better than Joan Rivers, I can understand why Donald Trump picked Joan tonight:

1. Trump is not averse to playing favorites. It’s been obvious from the beginning that Trump loves Joan Rivers. He never said anything bad about her, ever!
2. Trump knew that Annie was the odds-on favorite (but not the fan favorite) to win the show.
3. Trump was looking for an excuse to pick Joan as the winner, and
4. Annie, with her conduct in tonight’s episode, combined with losing three of the five criterion for the last challenge, gave Trump this excuse.

In the end, it was an understandable decision. Joan Rivers is a fiery lady, who, at 75, has more energy than most 35 year olds (or, at least, appears to on television). She’s very loyal, and inspires loyalty from those around her. She’s also the underdog in this matchup. Everyone loves an underdog, especially when the favorite has the biggest ego in the history of television since Omarosa.

I still can’t get over the fact that Joan compared Annie to Hitler and won the whole damn show, but Annie did make a few small mistakes down the stretch. Of course, Annie played better than Joan, but it wasn’t the flawless play that she needed to overcome Joan Rivers, who, by virtue of being Joan Rivers, just needed to stay alive until the end of the show to win.

In the end, we can learn some life lessons from tonight’s Celebrity Apprentice:

1. If your boss doesn’t like you, you had better not give him any excuse whatsoever to fire you.
2. If your boss DOES like you, it’s okay to compare your co-worker to Hitler. Just make up for it by bringing in less money than your co-worker.

Miscellanea:
- Dennis Rodman is still crazy. They had to bleep him tonight. That was hilarious.
- Melissa Rivers is still crazy. She takes after the worst characteristics in her mother.
- Jesse James is more good looking than he was on the show. Did he lose weight?
- Herschell Walker is awesome. I love this guy. I wish he had won.
- Where were T-Boz and Khloe Kardashian? Bitter over their random firings in Week 8?
- Where was Natalie Gulbis? (Ahh, she was finishing T-7 at the LPGA Michelob Ultra Open! My bad, good for her.)
- Ivanka was wearing some NICE DRESSES during tonight’s show. And, by NICE, you know what I mean…
- It pained Piers so much to have to concede that Joan won tonight’s challenge. You could see it on his face that he liked Annie way more.

Job Application Difficulties – What Should I Do?

About four weeks ago, I applied for a Web Development job at a Gainesville, FL company called Grooveskark. The position looks perfect for me–I have web development experience, my academic history is a perfect fit, and the company looks like a cool place to work. I developed the required application materials and submitted my application to jobs at grooveshark dot com on April 16.

I have since received no correspondence from them. None. Nothing.

First, I tried sending a follow-up email. No dice.

Next, I tried calling their office. I simply wanted confirmation that they had received my materials and were considering my application. Each time, I spoke to the same operator.

The first time, she took my info and promised to give it to someone who could answer my question. The second time (the next day), she sounded irritated that I called so soon and told me that the guy I need is very busy, but he would call me back eventually. The third time I called (one week later), she reiterated that he was very busy, and suggested that maybe Grooveshark was not hiring at this time. This is in direct conflict with the information posted on the website.

I have since tried sending follow-up emails through the “contact” section of their website (I sent emails to HR reps and to a few Web Developers), but I have not gotten any replies.

It feels like I’m getting the run-around from Grooveshark. If they’re not hiring, fine. If they’re considering my application, fine. I really just want a straight answer from them, not the whimsical postulations of a telephone operator.

The main reason I’m posting this, however, is not to call Grooveshark to task, though if someone at Grooveshark reads this, I would be happy to discuss this issue (along with my employment application) at your convenience.

I want to know from you guys–what should I do next? Should I escalate the issue by attempting to contact the higher-ups at the company? Should I wait a few weeks/months until things are “less busy?” Should I do nothing at all? Any advice would be appreciated.

Top 10 Star Trek: DS9 Episodes (May 2009 Version).

My recent post of my Top 10 TNG episodes seems to have gotten a bunch of hits, so I figured I’d go ahead and compile my DS9 list for your enjoyment!

10. Take Me Out to the Holosuite
“When Captain Solok of the Federation starship T’Kumbra challenges former classmate Sisko and his crew to a game of baseball, Sisko refuses to lose and begins to take the game too seriously.”

I’m going to start my list off with an episode that doesn’t make most DS9 Top 10 lists. And from a certain vantage point, I can understand that. However, the timing of this episode (in the middle of the Dominion War story-arc) enhanced the entertainment factor for me. Also, I’m a sucker for poorly done sports episodes on syndicated television!

9. The Quickening
“Dr. Bashir works to rid a planet of a plague that was sent by the Dominion as punishment for resistance.”

Early in DS9, Bashir was a character that had lost his way. He was not well-liked and kind of annoying. This late season 4 episode marks the completion of Bashir’s transformation into a much more interesting character. The plot twist at the end is very Trekky, as well.

8. The Sound of Her Voice
“The Defiant receives a distress call from a Starfleet captain stranded on an inhospitable planet.”

Another perhaps controversial pick, I can’t get enough of Debra Wilson’s performance in this episode. Additionally, the way the main characters interact with her is very well done and captivating.

7. The Siege of AR-558
“During a supply run to AR-558, Sisko finds the defending Starfleet unit with over two thirds of the troops dead and the remaining soldiers morale to be extremely low. When the Defiant comes under attack, Sisko, Bashir, Dax, Nog, and Quark are forced to remain on the planet, which is about to come under attack by a much larger contingent of Jem’Hadar soldiers.”

This very dark episode illustrates just how awful the Dominion war is becoming. It contains some great work by the two Ferengi leads, Armin Shimmerman and Aron Eisenberg. The guest actors that play the isolated Federation officers are excellent, as well.

6. Duet
“After a Cardassian man arrives on the station suffering from an illness that he could only have contracted at a Bajoran labor camp during the Occupation, Major Kira leads an investigation to determine whether he is actually a notorious war criminal.”

The only episode from seasons 1,2 or 3 to make my list (that’s what happens when the Trek writers have to split their efforts between two shows*), the interplay between Kira and Maritza is so well done. The plot twist at the end, though not entirely unexpected, makes a very strong statement that DS9 has no intentions of being “goody two shoes” in the way that TNG sometimes was.

*Only one TNG episode from seasons 6 or 7 made my Top 10 TNG list, either. Seasons 6 and 7 of TNG ran concurrently with Seasons 1 and 2 of DS9.

5. What You Leave Behind
“In this final adventure, the Federation Alliance prepares a final invasion of Cardassia. Meanwhile on Bajor, Kai Winn releases the Pah-wraiths from the Fire Caves which threatens the safety of not only Bajor, but the entire Alpha Quadrant.”

The series finale of DS9 saw the defeat of the Dominion and the return of Odo to the Great Link and Sisko to the Prophets. None of these plot events were unexpected, but all were very well done. Salome Jens as the Female Changeling was consistently amazing in her role throughout the Dominion War story arc. What You Leave Behind has just the right amount of conclusion and just the right amount of open-endedness for a series finale.

4. Far Beyond the Stars
“Experiencing a vision from the Prophets, Sisko sees himself as Benny Russell, a science-fiction writer in the 1950s, who struggles with civil rights and inequality when he writes the story of Captain Benjamin Sisko, a black commander of a futuristic space station.”

AVERY BROOKS IS FUCKING AMAZING.

3. In the Pale Moonlight
“Sick of the losses the Federation is taking in the war, Sisko enlists Garak’s help to persuade the Romulans to join the Federation against the Dominion. Sisko soon learns that, to save the Federation, he must abandon the values it stands for.”

This is, without a doubt, the darkest Star Trek episode ever made. In any series. The writing and direction are some of the best in Trek history. Andrew J. Robinson as Garak has some great moments, as well. Sisko’s dilemma and the way he handles it illustrates just how far DS9 has come from the days of Captain “Moral High Ground At All Costs” Picard.

2. Trials and Tribble-ations
“When Temporal Investigations arrives on Deep Space 9, Sisko recounts how he and the crew of the Defiant traveled back in time to the 23rd century to prevent the assassination of Captain James T. Kirk during the original Enterprise’s mission to Space Station K-7.”

What a freakin cool episode. DS9 goes back in time to explain the events surrounding the rather mediocre (but way-too-well-known) TOS episode “The Trouble with Tribbles.” When you see Sisko talking with Kirk, even though you know it’s all done with fancy schmancy computer illusions and post-production trickery, you still want to geek out all over yourself.

Now, many of you will disagree with my #2 pick on my top 10 list. That’s fine. I’m a sucker for the silly, entertaining episodes (see #10). However, there’s little argument against my #1 pick:

1. The Visitor
“After a freak accident in the engine room of the Defiant apparently claims the life of Benjamin Sisko, Jake lives out his life in an endless quest to locate his father.”

This is the best episode of Star Trek ever created. Sharing many parallels with my TNG favorite, “The Inner Light,” this episode illustrates a journey through time that ends in both heartbreak and happiness. Jake’s journey to find his dad illustrates just how powerful the relationship between Jake and Benjamin is. That relationship is, in many ways, the backbone of the whole series.

Tony Todd (aka Kurn from TNG, aka the Candyman from “The Candyman”) delivers the finest guest acting performance in all of DS9, and arguably all of Trek.

The plot devices used in this episode are quintessential Trek. I mean, Jake as the “elastic” that is connecting Benjamin back to the real world??? Awesome!!

There is no doubt in my mind that, even though most of the episode is the Avery Brooks/Tony Todd show*, not only is this the finest DS9 episode ever, it’s the best episode of Trek, period. (And I’ve watched them all.)

*A certain Father of mine believes that, because the main actor in this episode is a guest actor, that somehow that precludes this episode from being the best ever. Hogwash, I say. Guess what made Yesterday’s Enterprise good? That’s right, Denise Crosby.

Honorable Mentions:
Second Skin
Necessary Evil
Past Tense
Little Green Men
Children of Time (added 08/2009)
Wrongs Darker than Death or Night
Rapture

Top 10 Star Trek: TNG Episodes (May 2009 version).

10. The Offspring
“Data attracts new scrutiny from Starfleet when he decides to build a child.”

Data’s right to procreate is called into question in this episode. Data’s humanity reaches a peak in this episode, and it’s very emotional to watch. The climax, where Data’s daughter Lal is unable to be salvaged, is a great scene, though perhaps containing some over-the-top writing.

9. I, Borg
“The discovery of an injured adolescent Borg brings to the surface hard feelings for both Captain Picard and Guinan for what the Borg Collective had done to them. Matters are complicated when plans to use the young drone to destroy his people are halted when it is discovered that the Borg has become an individual.”

This episode is such an interesting take on the Borg, which hadn’t been on TNG since The Best of Both Worlds. The way the crew deals with their prejudice against the Borg, and considers using Hugh to (possibly) destroy the Borg, is top-notch.

8. Darmok
“Picard is captured, then trapped on a planet with an alien captain who speaks a metaphorical language incompatible with the universal translator. They must learn to communicate with each other before the beast of the planet overwhelms them.”

The idea behind this episode, of a species that communicates solely by metaphor, though having some inconsistencies (if they only communicate by metaphor, how do they learn the material upon which the metaphor is based??), it’s a very well-done and touching episode. The actor playing the opposing captain is fantastic (awesome guest stars is a recurring theme on this list, by the way).

7. Lower Decks
“Junior officers speculate on the reasons for recent unusual actions taken by the command crew near the Cardassian border.”

The only episode from season 7 to make my list, this is a particularly unique episode, in that the main characters in this episode are junior officers. Of particular interest in this episode is that the “normal” main characters seem almost God-like at times in this episode. Great writing and guest acting.

6. The Measure of a Man
“The Enterprise must defend Data’s status when Starfleet demands his reassignment for study.”

Another Data episode makes my list. This time, Data proves that he has all the rights of a living being, including the right to choose to reject an assignment that may disfigure him. A profound episode in all of the Trek world, “Measure” says a lot about Gene Roddenberry’s vision of the future.

5. Relics
“The Enterprise discovers a ship that crashed on a Dyson Sphere more than 75 years ago with a single survivor suspended in the transporter buffer: Captain Montgomery Scott.”

Simply put, James Doohan as Scott is absolutely fantastic. Great writing and an interesting plot. How fantastic that Doohan was able to join the cast of TNG even for just one episode.

4. The Drumhead
“An overzealous Starfleet admiral begins a witch-hunt aboard the Enterprise to find a conspiracy, eventually accusing Captain Picard of treason.”

The high-brow topic addressed in this episode (conspiracies, witch-hunts and how we choose to react to them) is very well done. One of Patrick Stewart’s finest TNG performances, in my opinion.

Okay, now, the top three episodes are pretty easy. However, the order of the last three is something I change on a regular basis. Today, I give you the following list:

3. The Best of Both Worlds
“The Enterprise intercepts a Borg cube heading directly towards Earth. Unable to affect the Borg, Captain Picard is captured and assimilated into the collective.”

The Borg are simply the greatest enemy ever, and the assimilation of Picard at the end of the first part is the best plot twist ever. Fantastic episode.

2. Yesterday’s Enterprise
“A temporal rift opens, and the USS Enterprise-C emerges, changing the timeline into a reality where the Federation is in a bitter war with the Klingon Empire. The only one on USS Enterprise-D that realizes that something is not right is Guinan, and she must help return the Enterprise-C to its proper time in order to save themselves.”

Denise Crosby returns for her greatest Trek performance ever. Whoopi Goldberg delivers her best Guinan performance. These combined with the best (least full-of-holes_ time-travel plot ever in Trek result in a stellar show. I could go on and on about how awesome this episode is. However, in terms of emotional impact, it is a close second to:

1. The Inner Light
“An alien probe controls and disables Captain Picard, who wakes up as “Kamin,” a resident of the planet Kataan. While the crew of the Enterprise tries to jar the probe’s influence, “Kamin” lives through the dying days of his homeworld.”

For a while, I didn’t think this episode was as good as Yesterday’s Enterprise or BoBW. However, each time I watch it, it gets better and better. The story of Picard living a whole another life in the span of 30 minutes is just so heart-wrenching that I can’t help put this at the top of my list. Of course, the one-man-show by Patrick Stewart never gets old either.

Part of this episode’s beauty is that, aside from a brief mention in the episode “Lessons,” we never hear any more about Picard’s experience in this second lifetime. We as the viewers can only speculate as to what’s going on inside of Picard for the rest of the series. It had to have been a gut-churning thing for Picard to live a full lifetime, and then to have it pulled out from under his feet at the very end. That’s not something from which you can just push aside and go on with your life

The episode is much, much more than the 43 minutes of television we get. It’s the most emotionally deep and profound episode that TNG ever did, and possibly in all of Star Trek.

Honorable Mentions (in chronological order):
Where No One Has Gone Before
A Matter of Honor
The Defector
Who Watches The Watchers
Redemption
Disaster
Time’s Arrow
Chain of Command
Tapestry

What a Day!

It has been a very busy, but very nice day. The first thing I did was teach my normal Friday morning section of i310. Being the last class of the semester, naturally half the class did not show up (which was fine, because the head instructor made today’s section optional), but the other half seemed engaged in what we were doing.

After class, I headed over to the Informatics building to get ready for my Capstone presentation. When the time came, I felt ready to go, and I think I did a pretty good job! I was glad that people actually attended! And I was super happy that my parents were able to Skype in from Switzerland to watch my presentation!

When Lana and I returned home, we went on tandem bike ride, and even managed to get home before the weather got kinda shady! Lana is getting very strong on the back of the bike–I can feel her strength especially when we go up hills and into the wind. In turn, I am getting better at balancing the bike, at controlling the bike around turns, and at dealing with traffic (with Lana’s assistance at times).

After a quick run, I am now turning my focus to my race tomorrow. I’m doing a sprint tri (300m, 11mi, 3mi s/b/r) in Champaign, IL on the U of I campus. Hopefully I’ll do well in the race and see a few friends from U of I at the same time!

After this weekend, THANKFULLY it’s taper time for Triple T. I’m doing a full taper for the first time ever, so I have high hopes for the race. Triple T is on May 22-24 (I’ll post more about what exactly Triple T is at a later date).