Time: 1:43:36
Pace: 7:54 minutes/mile
Weather: 38 at start, warming up to 45 at finish. Partly cloudy.
This year, the IU Mini Marathon in Bloomington, IN had a new course. Instead of going south of town and hitting the rollers on Windsor Road, we instead ran north on the SR45/46 bypass, which made the course a bit easier. Basically, the bypass is a long, 2-mile gradual uphill with about 150 feet in elevation gain, whereas Windsor road has about 250-300 feet of elevation gain spread out over many small steep rollers.
I arrived at the race and got a good warm-up in. When you are like me and can run as fast as KENYANS, you need to get in a good warm-up so that the legs are ready for the ONSLAUGHT OF SPEED I was about to put them through.
At the start of the race, I immediately began kicking ass. As much as HALF THE FIELD was behind me after the first mile! No one has ever done so well in a running race!
The first few miles were predominantly uphill, so my superior intellect came up with a perfect gameplan–take it easy on the first 5 or so miles, up the pace for the middle four, and CRUSH DREAMS SEVERELY in the last four. As expected, I executed this game plan to perfection.
My goal for the race was to finish between 1:40 and 1:45, which would mean that I’d need to be under 8:00/mile at the end of the race. After the first 5 uphill miles, I was (as expected by my superior intellect) a bit off that pace, but being the cool customer that I am, I simply went faster. Almost reaching KENYAN speed at this point.
Also, at this point I became too hot for my shirt so I took it off. THAT WAS ATTRACTIVE TO LADIES AND SOME MEN.
Each mile after mile 7 was under 8:00/mile, with the miles generally getting faster as I headed toward the finish. I was passing so many people at this point I could barely count them on one hand.
Miles 12 and 13 had a few nasty little mini-hills but I crushed those with minimal effort and maximal CRUSHAGE.
I got to the finish line in 1:43 and change, which was one of the top SEVERAL HUNDRED times of the day! I immediately claimed my winner’s medal (they don’t give those to just anyone, you know) and enjoyed a victory lap to the banana counter where they had some bananas.
It seems that my winter of running has really paid off for me. Though this year’s course was easier than last year (by perhaps 3 minutes at my pace), it’s still a significant improvement over last year’s time of 2:02.
Also, thanks to my chiropractor, orthotics, new running socks, newskin and Body Glide, I had ZERO foot problems. I should be able to run again tomorrow, which is the true hallmark of someone who is unstoppable at running.
SUMMARY OF THIS POST: I AM GOING TO KICK SO MUCH ASS IN MY RACES THIS YEAR BECAUSE I AM THE BEST RUNNER YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.
Appendix A (for Awesome): Mile splits
Mile 1 – 8:16.54
Mile 2 – 8:09.11
Mile 3 – 8:36.06
Mile 4 – 8:07.96
Mile 5 – 8:09.20
Mile 6 – 7:47.11
Mile 7 – 8:11.91
Mile 8 – 7:40.81
Mile 9 – 7:58.78
Mile 10 – 7:38.49
Mile 11 – 7:26.20
Mile 12 – 7:27.49
Mile 13 – 7:17.46
Mile 13.1 – 0:49.57
Total: 1:43:36 (7:54 pace)