This is a test of your knowledge of how cyclists and drivers should be sharing the road. If you fail this test, or even miss a single question, an untimely demise will come for you sooner than you probably anticipated.
Question 1. You are a driver, driving along at about 45mph on a country road. The road is moderately hilly and turny, such that the middle line is almost always a double yellow line. You come upon a cyclist going up a hill at about 10mph. You cannot see more than about 50 feet of road beyond the cyclist, as the hill crests at that point. Here’s an example of the kind of road I’m talking about.
As the driver, do you:
(A) Accelerate quickly and try to pass the cyclist, hoping that another car doesn’t come over the crest of the hill as you are passing the cyclist
(B) wait 4 seconds for the cyclist to get up the hill and pass him safely when you can see the road ahead
If you answered (A), you are an idiot. If you answered (B), you get a “thank you” wave from me as you pass me as we are going down the hill.
Question 2. You are a cyclist, cycling at about 19mph on a similar, but flatter country road to question 1. Traffic is moderate to high. You see some cars heading toward you in the opposite lane of traffic, and, at the same time, you hear a car or two coming up behind you. There is no rideable shoulder. In which part of the lane should you be riding?
(A) As far to the right as possible
(B) In the right tire track
(C) In the center of the lane
(D) In the left tire track
No derogatory marks if you get this one wrong, but the correct answer is usually (C) or (D). Riding as far to the right is usually a bad idea, because it invites idiot drivers to try and pass you while sharing the lane with you. This usually means you get “buzzed” (passed too closely) and it is unsafe for you. The right tire track is an even worse idea than riding on the white line, because the idiot drivers will *still* try to pass you and you’ll have even less space between you and the car. Riding in the center or the left tire track (known as “taking the lane”) is often the only way to ensure your safety in this type of situation, as traffic travelling in your direction can’t safely get around you.
Most novice cyclists attempt to “stay to the right” (i.e. choices (A) or (B) when they encounter heavy traffic. Unfortunately, this is often a higher-risk maneuver than taking the lane. You’ll get more honks from drivers by taking the lane, but I’d rather get the honks–that means that they are seeing you and not hitting you with their Motorized Killing Machine!
Okay, Question 3. You are the driver again, and you come upon a cyclist. This time, the road is flat, the yellow line is single dashed, and there are no cars ahead or behind you. The coast is clear to get around her. Do you:
(A) rev your engine to show how big your penis is as you pass her
(B) honk your horn to alert the cyclist you are going to make a pass
(C) gently accelerate past the cyclist, moving halfway into the next lane to make the pass
(D) gently accelerate past the cyclist, moving all the way into the next lane to make the pass
If you answered (A), you are a douche. (B) may be tempting, but we can hear–and possibly see–you back there. Beeping your horn may distract the cyclist and cause her to swerve, so there is really no need even to give a quick beep before you pass. (C) is getting better (and often acceptable), but why not (D) give the cyclist the full lane if you can? She will absolutely appreciate it.
Last question. You are the cyclist, doing about 21mph along on a slightly hilly, moderately turny country road similar to that in question 1. Behind you comes a school bus. Do you:
(A) take the lane, making it difficult for the school bus to pass you safely
(B) continue as normal, probably riding in the right tire track, and hope that that damn school bus gets by you soon
(C) pull off the road as soon as you can to let the school bus by you
Just pull off the road. Cyclists have to concede a bit, too. School bus drivers (and other utilitarian vehicles like snowplows and city buses) have an important job to do, and their use of the road, in my opinion, supersedes a recreational (or even a commuter) cyclist’s use of the road. It’s the nice thing to do, the driver will appreciate it, and from a pragmatist’s view, this is wise as the driver will be more likely to keep a kind eye out for cyclists in the future!
Stay tuned for more Pop Quizzes, as I ride outside more and observe more and more Highway Shennanigans.

